I was warned of the dangers of the big city when I moved from Lisbon. There's crime, they said. Things are going to be different in Iowa City. You'll have to show your I.D. at the bank when you cash a check, and they won't let you park your truck on the lawn the way you used to. But, it turns out, there is one advantage to living in Iowa City. No nuclear weapons allowed.

Yes, it's true. According to the Iowa City Press Citizen, in 1985 the city code of Iowa City was amended to designate the city a "nuclear weapons-free zone." Since then, nuclear weapons have not been permitted in town. Now this may sound like that old "elephant repellant" joke (you don't see any wild elephants, do you?). But Iowa City takes its ordinance seriously and has recently agreed to install five new signs banning nukes in the city limits. They used to have signs, but they were stolen or vandalized (using, I'm sure, conventional weapons).

The Iowa City ordinance isn't like New Zealand, where no nuclear weapons or even nuclear-powered devices are allowed within 12 miles of its boundaries. It's more like Berkeley, Calif., which declared itself nuclear-free in 1986, a largely symbolic act, ignored by state and federal authorities who regularly transport nuclear materials through city limits. Also, the University of California system continues to manage the Los Alamos National Laboratory where nuclear weapons are designed. But in Iowa City, if anybody - and I mean ANYBODY - tries to bring a nuclear warhead into the city limits, they will be facing (I am not making this up) a $500 fine! With a deterrent like that, you understand how Iowa City has distinguished itself from other small towns in Iowa and managed to stand firm against the onslaught of nuclear weapons.

As far as I know, there is no ban in Iowa City against nuclear power or nuclear waste. Nor is there a ban against other weapons of mass destruction, such as biological warfare, chemical weapons, unmanned drones, robots, death rays or armies of zombies.

The Iowa Department of Transportation won't let Iowa City place its signs on state or federal highways because, well, because, unlike regular road signs, the no-nukes signs don't convey any useful traffic information, and they might be distracting to motorists. The signs are more like the "Asteroid Crossing" sign in Mount Vernon, which looks like a road sign but is part of an amusing illustration of the solar system.

The Iowa City nuclear-free signs may seem like some spacey, liberal protest but there is something kind of sweet and typically Iowan about them. Sure, if the Department of Defense wants to trundle a thermo-nuclear warhead down Dodge Street, there isn't a darn thing the mayor can do about it. (And good luck getting that $500 fine out of Defense Secretary Robert Gates!) Iowa City's nuclear weapons ban is a moral position, a line in the sand. It declares opposition to the nuclear madness as part of its democratic obligation to represent the will of the people. And as goofy as the no-nukes sign looks, nobody, but nobody should take it lightly.